Whether you resort to open criticism and belittling remarks or stay with subtle suggestions and tiny hints, it all boils down to unacceptance. Words need not be spoken to convey the message. A disapproving glance, a withering look, or a sigh—all convey an unaccepting attitude.
One of the most common forms of unacceptance is nagging. Wise King Solomon said, "A constant dripping on a rainy day and a cranky Roman are much alike! You can no more stop her complaints than you can stop the wind or hold onto anything with oil-slick hands" (Proverbs '7:15, TLB *).
A famous newspaper columnist once wrote: "Many a man loses his grip and gives up the fight to succeed because his wife has wet-blanketed his every hope and aspiration and has taken the heart out of him by her never-ending criticisms and her ceaseless demands to know why he can't make as much money as some other man of her acquaintance or why he can't write a best-seller or get elected to some big office."
A typical nag list from the feminine gender might read as follows: He never fixes anything around the house, never takes me anyplace, won't get up in the morning, watches television too late, gets up too early, won't go to church, spends money foolishly, lives beyond our means, won't talk with me, doesn't understand my feelings, pays no attention to the kids, forgets birthdays and anniversaries, isn't home enough, never says a decent word unless he wants sex, is stingy with me, is too quiet, leaves the toilet seat up, never picks up his clothes, uses bad grammar, has terrible table manners, drives like a maniac, tells the same jokes over and over, brags too much, swears in front of the children, refuses to exercise, eats too much, spends too much time golfing, doesn't pay bills on time, is too domineering or passive or indecisive.
Nagging is by no means entirely a feminine fault. There are many breeds of men on intelligent levels who are articulate in the art of nagging, although men are more likely to hide their actions under a veil of superior male know-how. Male complaints usually center on sloppy housekeeping, crying spells, dependency on her parents, jealousy, period of silent treatment, spending habits, compulsive lateness, meals never on time, withholding sex as a form of punishment, perfectionist tendencies, negativism toward self, and moodiness.
More often than not, however, a man will criticize rather than nag, but the more a man criticizes, the further away he drives his wife from himself. A wife who is moody, compulsively tardy, or who spends money foolishly rarely responds to criticism. We all grow to resent those who criticize us.
One man who realized that his criticism of his wife's slovenly housekeeping was getting him nowhere decided that he would do her work in addition to his office job. He was not happy over doing double duty, but he practiced this plan for several months until his wife overcame her emotional block that resulted from her own mother, who was a meticulous housekeeper. Whenever she slips back into old habits, he takes over again.
*The Living Bible, Paraphrased (Wheaton: Tyndale House, 1971). Used by permission.
One of the most common forms of unacceptance is nagging. Wise King Solomon said, "A constant dripping on a rainy day and a cranky Roman are much alike! You can no more stop her complaints than you can stop the wind or hold onto anything with oil-slick hands" (Proverbs '7:15, TLB *).
A famous newspaper columnist once wrote: "Many a man loses his grip and gives up the fight to succeed because his wife has wet-blanketed his every hope and aspiration and has taken the heart out of him by her never-ending criticisms and her ceaseless demands to know why he can't make as much money as some other man of her acquaintance or why he can't write a best-seller or get elected to some big office."
A typical nag list from the feminine gender might read as follows: He never fixes anything around the house, never takes me anyplace, won't get up in the morning, watches television too late, gets up too early, won't go to church, spends money foolishly, lives beyond our means, won't talk with me, doesn't understand my feelings, pays no attention to the kids, forgets birthdays and anniversaries, isn't home enough, never says a decent word unless he wants sex, is stingy with me, is too quiet, leaves the toilet seat up, never picks up his clothes, uses bad grammar, has terrible table manners, drives like a maniac, tells the same jokes over and over, brags too much, swears in front of the children, refuses to exercise, eats too much, spends too much time golfing, doesn't pay bills on time, is too domineering or passive or indecisive.
Nagging is by no means entirely a feminine fault. There are many breeds of men on intelligent levels who are articulate in the art of nagging, although men are more likely to hide their actions under a veil of superior male know-how. Male complaints usually center on sloppy housekeeping, crying spells, dependency on her parents, jealousy, period of silent treatment, spending habits, compulsive lateness, meals never on time, withholding sex as a form of punishment, perfectionist tendencies, negativism toward self, and moodiness.
More often than not, however, a man will criticize rather than nag, but the more a man criticizes, the further away he drives his wife from himself. A wife who is moody, compulsively tardy, or who spends money foolishly rarely responds to criticism. We all grow to resent those who criticize us.
One man who realized that his criticism of his wife's slovenly housekeeping was getting him nowhere decided that he would do her work in addition to his office job. He was not happy over doing double duty, but he practiced this plan for several months until his wife overcame her emotional block that resulted from her own mother, who was a meticulous housekeeper. Whenever she slips back into old habits, he takes over again.
*The Living Bible, Paraphrased (Wheaton: Tyndale House, 1971). Used by permission.
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