Something Worse
Today people tend to accept divorce as socially acceptable. The latest statistics reveal that 38 percent of all first marriages end in divorce, and the church is not immune from such statistics. Divorce in Los Angeles County has hit the 50 percent mark. Affluent Marin County in California leads the nation with a whopping 70 percent of all marriages ending in divorce. Statistics also tell us that a second marriage is almost twice as likely to fail as a first marriage.
Several factors contribute to the increased divorce rate in recent years. Easy do-it-yourself divorces constitute one reason. An ad from one local paper reads: "Divorce, only $70. It costs nothing to dial our toll-free number."
Another contributing factor is a decline in family life. A few years ago the home formed the mainstream of activity, but now it serves more as a launching pad, where family members stop in briefly to refuel l before moving on to other areas.
Early marriages and a lack of preparation and training for marriage can also contribute to the increasing divorce rate. Marriage seems so natural that we usually assume one can succeed as a marriage partner without special education. The fact is people are not born with the knowledge and understanding necessary to work out the complexities of marriage.
A decline in positive Christian living has also influenced the divorce rate. Many people try to live as if there are no principles or truths to follow. Doubts, frustrations, and despair saturate their minds, and they turn to kinky substitutes in a vain attempt to find meaning in life. Drugs, sex, the occult, form much of the restless activity that they pursue in a frantic effort to keep one step ahead of emptiness and loneliness.
In most cases divorce solves little and evades much. It leaves in its path heartache, loneliness, and a feeling of personal failure. If it is a cure for a sick marriage, then the cure often turns out to be worse than the sickness.
Block the idea of divorce from your mind, and never use it as a threat against your partner. It may be the last thing you really want, but your pride may not allow you to back down from words spoken in haste. One eminent marriage counselor notes that most divorces are not only unnecessary but also undesirable. In most cases both husband and wife are worse off after terminating their relationship than before. Those contemplating divorce fail to take into account the serious readjustments it necessitates. Since many divorcees find such read-justment depressing, their rates of insanity, suicide, and death are two to three times higher than those for married persons of the same ages.
Something Better
However, the man and woman who enter marriage with the idea of making it a "total commitment of the total person for a total way of life" can look forward to a compleat marriage. Barring the insane, neurotic, or alcoholic person, who should avoid marriage anyway, almost anyone with a certain amount of common sense, maturity, and effort can attain a reasonably successful marriage.
A friend said not long ago, "I'm in my mid-thirties and have met only one happily married couple in my life. " She didn't need logical arguments to convince her of happy marriages. She needed living examples in vivid color—flesh-and-blood people who live in harmony and radiate marital happiness and optimism.
Perhaps you are saying, "What on earth can we do about this? We are just one couple in a fast-moving impersonal world." But you are not so insignificant as to have no influence. You can make a unique and important contribution within your circle of friends. The important question here is not whether the institution of marriage will survive, but will your marriage survive? When your marriage is happy, you will have a direct bearing on friends as well as on the eventual marriage of your own children. Someone has estimated that each married couple directly influences twelve other couples a year. If this ratio could be maintained, the world could be changed!
Your marriage can be more than just an influence. It can also inspire others. Since happy marriages seem to be on the endangered species list, you'd probably create a new sensation in your neighborhood.
My husband, Harry, was attending an in-service training conference at his hospital facility and found himself teamed with an attractive female divorcee. As part of the conference, the pairs were to interview each other and report to the group interesting facts. Her report centered on how she envied Harry's close family life.
As one Christian has written, "One well-ordered, well-disciplined family tells more in behalf of Christianity than all the sermons that can be preached."
Today people tend to accept divorce as socially acceptable. The latest statistics reveal that 38 percent of all first marriages end in divorce, and the church is not immune from such statistics. Divorce in Los Angeles County has hit the 50 percent mark. Affluent Marin County in California leads the nation with a whopping 70 percent of all marriages ending in divorce. Statistics also tell us that a second marriage is almost twice as likely to fail as a first marriage.
Several factors contribute to the increased divorce rate in recent years. Easy do-it-yourself divorces constitute one reason. An ad from one local paper reads: "Divorce, only $70. It costs nothing to dial our toll-free number."
Another contributing factor is a decline in family life. A few years ago the home formed the mainstream of activity, but now it serves more as a launching pad, where family members stop in briefly to refuel l before moving on to other areas.
Early marriages and a lack of preparation and training for marriage can also contribute to the increasing divorce rate. Marriage seems so natural that we usually assume one can succeed as a marriage partner without special education. The fact is people are not born with the knowledge and understanding necessary to work out the complexities of marriage.
A decline in positive Christian living has also influenced the divorce rate. Many people try to live as if there are no principles or truths to follow. Doubts, frustrations, and despair saturate their minds, and they turn to kinky substitutes in a vain attempt to find meaning in life. Drugs, sex, the occult, form much of the restless activity that they pursue in a frantic effort to keep one step ahead of emptiness and loneliness.
In most cases divorce solves little and evades much. It leaves in its path heartache, loneliness, and a feeling of personal failure. If it is a cure for a sick marriage, then the cure often turns out to be worse than the sickness.
Block the idea of divorce from your mind, and never use it as a threat against your partner. It may be the last thing you really want, but your pride may not allow you to back down from words spoken in haste. One eminent marriage counselor notes that most divorces are not only unnecessary but also undesirable. In most cases both husband and wife are worse off after terminating their relationship than before. Those contemplating divorce fail to take into account the serious readjustments it necessitates. Since many divorcees find such read-justment depressing, their rates of insanity, suicide, and death are two to three times higher than those for married persons of the same ages.
Something Better
However, the man and woman who enter marriage with the idea of making it a "total commitment of the total person for a total way of life" can look forward to a compleat marriage. Barring the insane, neurotic, or alcoholic person, who should avoid marriage anyway, almost anyone with a certain amount of common sense, maturity, and effort can attain a reasonably successful marriage.
A friend said not long ago, "I'm in my mid-thirties and have met only one happily married couple in my life. " She didn't need logical arguments to convince her of happy marriages. She needed living examples in vivid color—flesh-and-blood people who live in harmony and radiate marital happiness and optimism.
Perhaps you are saying, "What on earth can we do about this? We are just one couple in a fast-moving impersonal world." But you are not so insignificant as to have no influence. You can make a unique and important contribution within your circle of friends. The important question here is not whether the institution of marriage will survive, but will your marriage survive? When your marriage is happy, you will have a direct bearing on friends as well as on the eventual marriage of your own children. Someone has estimated that each married couple directly influences twelve other couples a year. If this ratio could be maintained, the world could be changed!
Your marriage can be more than just an influence. It can also inspire others. Since happy marriages seem to be on the endangered species list, you'd probably create a new sensation in your neighborhood.
My husband, Harry, was attending an in-service training conference at his hospital facility and found himself teamed with an attractive female divorcee. As part of the conference, the pairs were to interview each other and report to the group interesting facts. Her report centered on how she envied Harry's close family life.
As one Christian has written, "One well-ordered, well-disciplined family tells more in behalf of Christianity than all the sermons that can be preached."
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